Bumper Stickers I'd Love to See, Pt. 1

NUTRI-SYSTEM IS SOYLENT GREEN

Winter Maque-Chou a la Chacherre

Tony the famous Cajun says to buy 12 ears of corn on the cob, fresh, and cut the kernels off. Hard to do in the winter, so I buy a large bag of corn kernels at Wal-Mart, warm it a bit in the microwave, and set aside. Melt a stick of improved margarine and add one chopped onion, one chopped bell pepper, and one chopped garlic clove and cook about five minutes until the onion is translucent. Add a T. or more of Cajun seasoning mix and the corn. Stir on medium heat for 20-30 minutes or until all liquid is absorbed. Stir in a cup of milk a bit at a time, stirring frequently to see if mix gets dry, and add a bit more if needed until a cup is gone. Total cooking time about 90 minutes, but you must keep stirring to make it work. Best corn dish I know. Top drawer.

Jim's Deep Sea Barnyard Sriracha Tunafish Salad

Drain 2 cans (7.5 oz.) tuna fish packed in water; chop 3 stalks celery fine, and add to tuna, breaking it up while stirring celery in. Add a heaping tablespoon sweet relish, salt and pepper to taste. Stir in two heaping tablespoons of mayo. Finely dice two hardboiled eggs and add. Add two-three teaspoons of sriracha hot sauce. Spoon onto whole wheat bread. Serve with chips. Mmmmmm.

Rundown Tired Turkey Pot Pie

Grab a 2# freezer turkey breast at Wal-Mart. Leave in freezer at least two years; the turkey should have frostbite, possibly even gangrene of the wing tips.

Thaw the poor thing and cook as per box instructions. Melt a quarter cup of butter (a bit more if not on a diet) and saute a half an onion until translucient. (Does that mean the same thing as "opague"?) Whisk in 1/3 cup of flour. Cook a couple of minutes, then whisk in 1 1/2 cups chicken broth, a dash of salt and pinch of pepper. (Stir in a cup of chopped button mushrooms if desired.)

Cook, stirring constantly until bubbly, then turn off heat and add 2 cups mixed vegetables. (I like potatoes, peas, and carrots, but any vegetable combination will do. If you use fresh vegetables, steam them as long as necessary to have them "tender-crisp," what ever that means. Add two cups of the cooked turkey, broken into bites. Stir well.

Prepare deep dish pie plate with one refrigerator crust. Pour turkey mixture in and cover with second crust. Make slits in top. Cook in 400 degree oven about 40 minutes, covering the top with foil if it starts to brown too deeply.

(Actually, I don't think that bird was 2 years old, but it had been there a while.)